Sep
9
The 5 Myths of Extreme Self Care: Part 2
Myth: My Family doesn’t understand me!
Truth: Do you know how to ask for what you need?
It is not that you family doesn’t understand you…. It is that you have let them walk all over you, of course not intentionally. You didn’t know better, they didn’t know better. The generation pervious to us, grew up and learned how to live based on the “Leave it to Beaver” family. The Wife stayed home, her whole existence was to be a good wife and mother. The Husband went off to work at 7am and came home at 5pm for dinner.
Today we live in a completely different environment. It is not easy to support a family on just one income and we are working hard and longer hours just to stay above the water. Now I believe that these strong values of taking care of our value are still very, very important. I believe that we adapt to what we need to get this task done.
Taking into consideration that we are ‘doing what must be done’ to make sure things are taken care of, what steps have you taken to let your family know what you need. It is easy!
- Talk to your significant other and family
- Ask for what you need
- Your family says sure, they would be happy to help that’s what families do
You know what the hardest part of all of this is…. Figuring out what it is that you need.
You may want to take a couple of minutes and just get really clear on what it is that you want to create for yourself. Sit down and really visualize as if you were right in the middle of your perfect day.
The next important step is put into words that feeling you are looking for. I recommend reading this over every week or so and updating it. As you start working through the steps you will start to see new improved visions and feelings. You will be able to be clearer and clearer of what you are looking to feel.
- The goal I want to achieve is:
- The reason I want to achieve this goal is:
- My life would change in the following manner if I achieved my goal:
- I would be happier if I achieved my goal because:
Maybe you have a very simple goal; maybe you just need to spend 30 minutes a day in peace and quiet. What you would like is when you get home, there is a space to be created for 30 minutes so that you can let go of things at the office and be fully present and enjoy your time with your family.
So let’s try that discussion again.
- Call a family meeting – just let them know you have something you want to run past them
- Ask them what for what you need – I would like it if for 30 minutes after I get home from work, that I can spend time alone in my office/bedroom, I just feel that I want to be able to switch gears from work and then I can spend better quality time with you because I am not worrying about things at the office.
- Your family says sure – well of course they do, your family loves you, they just didn’t know that you needed the time.
There is one catch to this though. You actually need to do it. Use your 30 minutes, meditate, exercise, read, BUT leave work at work and truly be fully present with your family. If they can see that nothing has changed, then they will not accept your boundaries.
